conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
