she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
