are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
