So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
