The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
