Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
