WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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