I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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