So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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