Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
