smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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