Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
