The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
