my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
