Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
