Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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