I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
