remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
