Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
did i walk over a car last night?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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