Rock
Scissors
Fuck
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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