Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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