You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
