Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You're a waste of cheezeits
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
