So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Let's get the cat blown out
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
