He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
As shirtless as possible
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
