Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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