If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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