Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
