Kiss
Puke
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
