New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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