Walk of Shame today included voting.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
