Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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