My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
