You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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