Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
They are going to name an STD after you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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