1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
