Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
