1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
