Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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