I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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