Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
