We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Someone signed my nipple.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
