apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
