My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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