help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
