I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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