That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I believe in your delicious
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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