i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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