I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
