No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
