just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Randomize
