Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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