mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what day is it and did you see me today?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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