i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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